Cheaters, Relationships and Heartbreak.

One thing I have learned on my conquest to find love is that, you can’t find love, love in fact finds you.  Besides the obvious clichés of that sentence, what really are we looking for in a man?  Our perfect partner?  And in turn, what is perfection? A well groomed man with an amazing personality and the vigorous sex drive of an 18 year old.  You may never find such a man.

Is love merely a made up thing and can you find more than one soul mate in a life time?  Perhaps you found your perfect man once and his sex drive led him astray, led him to sleep with another.  Well from my personal experience, I have learnt that you must never label all men under the same stereotype.  Yes, the ex was an arsehole but who says that your next man will do the same.  And that is the thing; there will be a new man, in time.  You need to learn to trust once again and love, again.  Trust can’t be rebuilt easily but when you trust yourself and most importantly trust your own judgement in men, then you will be rewarded.   

‘Once a cheat, always a cheat’ – can this be true, surely a man can make a mistake and reform.

Being cheated on once hurts.  Twice, is coincidence.  Three times, is heart breaking.  But four times is confidence shattering and can leave you in a state of disbelief and hatred towards the opposite sex.  What can this bitterness achieve?  If we set ourselves up to believe that every guy will leave us for another, surely we are reassuring ourselves that we are not good enough and setting our partner up to cheat.  If it is one thing I have gained from this experience, it is that if you don’t trust the one you love, they will soon find trust, lust and happiness with another.  

So how to get over the angst?  After such heartbreak it is difficult but you must learn to love yourself again, before loving another.  Put on those gorgeous heels, that skimpy dress and go out with your girls.  Find a new hobby.  Make life changes for the better.  Anything to gain some solace and happiness in your single life.  Most importantly, make the most of this freedom.  These youthful years should be spent smiling and you should be enjoying the best years of your life.